Well, I don't even know how long it has been since I wrote in here. I am completely depressed, discouraged, and frustrated!!! I will admit I haven't done anything toward my weight loss in a long time. The reason for that is because part of me doesn't want to lose weight. What?! You read that right. Part of me doesn’t want to lose weight. Why? Well, I am a cab driver and when I'm fat the drunks don't hit on me as bad. Oh, I still get hit on, but not like I do when I am smaller. That may sound like an excuse, but really it isn't!
On the other hand, I am so sick of being fat! I'm tired of being winded by the time I get to the top of a flight of stairs. I'm tired of being sedentary. And I'm tired of what I see when I look in the mirror! I see some of the cutest clothes that are always too small. I was watching TV today and they were taking clothes that they had found at thrift stores and did some minor changes to them, like cut off the sleeves or add faux fur or add some bling and they were so cute! But finding fat clothes in thrift stores is just as, if not more, difficult than finding affordable clothes in clothing stores.
For the most part I don't FEEL fat. I am confident and walk with my head held high and I genuinely feel good about myself until I look in a mirror or walk up the stairs. I have removed all full body mirrors from the house. Now, I'm thinking about putting them everywhere! Maybe seeing how disgusting I look all the time will help me get motivated!
The other problem is money! Healthy food is so expensive! I'm a cab driver. I don't have a lot of money. This economy is making it harder and harder to pay the bills, let alone eat right. I'm ready to make some changes!
